The site in its current form was created in August 2004, when the first bored afternoon for 2 years came around.

If you're part of the imaginary Henry Clarke Price fanclub on a quest for your idol, I'd suggest hopping over to his site at http://henry.sloaneys.co.uk.  Alternatively, get in touch and we can organise your kidnap.

For the benefit of the less observant visitors, this site isn't serious.  It's not an attack on Sloaneys, so you can tell Daddy to pick up the phone and cancel that hitman.

If you're from The-Rest-Of-The-World, then give up now, because you won't get it.

If you're a journalist and you want to pay me money (or just give me some ego-boosting publicity with a sufficiently airbrushed photo of me that'll make me as sought-after as Buzz Lightyear was a few xmasses ago), please email me ( press@sloaneys.co.uk ).

I haven't actually read the Sloane Ranger Guide Book or whatever it's called, but if I ever come across a copy I might steal some parts and maybe make a nice little house for my hamster with the rest of it.

The whole site is copyright me (apart from some of the photos), and if you dare to go stealing bits, then I'll come down on you harder than MC Hammer on a ton of lyrics.

This was made way way before Chavscum, so in the words of Lisa in Josie and the Pussycats, "Bite me Bambi".

That'll do, donkey.  That'll do.